Contemplating suicide. Can't find job and my life isnt worth anything. Where the **** is this so called God?

I cannot take this life anymore. Can't find a job. halfway through college and I cant make it to graduation. where the hell is this God that loves us so much. It's so sick and twisted that a bunch of people made this **** up just to play with people's head. I can't take life on this Earth anymore. The only thing stopping me from cutting my own throat is my siblings cuz no one else really loves me. I have no real family friends or anything. Ive been crying for 6 hours straight and I cant pull myself together. Just looking at the bible makes me want to throw up. I want to burn it. If this "God" really loved people he would show it. I have already written a suicide letter telling my very few loved ones that I'm sorry and to stay strong because I cant any longer. I hate my life and it isnt worth **** anymore. I don't want any love or happiness. So just **** it all. I'm better off dead because at least I wont have to deal with this pain. Where the hell is this God. Probably up in "heaven" laughing at my ***. I'm through with this life.